What Was Missing
by Toomuchlikepearl
Summary: Canon-divergent story of Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Who knows how it will end?
1. What Was Missing

It was night-time and Marceline was somewhere indistinct in Ooo, near the Candy Kingdom. The insects made squeaks and creaks and chirps around her. She floated above the treetops, thoughtfully staring at the lights of Princess Bubblegum's kingdom in the near-distance. More specifically, Marceline's demon-eyes were staring at the anatomy of Bonnibel's tower, the lights of her bedroom still glimmering in the distance. Marceline had been going back and forth for hours, just trying to make a decision.

It was the day the Door Lord had stolen Finn, Jake and PB's precious keepsakes. She was so embarrassed after having been so impulsively honest and vulnerable. In front of Finn, who had such sweet feelings toward PB, in front of Jake, who was far too intelligent not to figure out what was going on. And worst of all, in front of the candy matriarch, herself. Marceline's self-doubt and insecurities were ravaging her. She had not even been able to go home after the incident, to the confines of her cave. It felt as though her anxieties would fill up her tiny house and she would drown, saying Bonnibel's name.

All this time, Marceline had thought that she was the loneliest person in the world. Old enough to have watched Simon turn into Ice King, old enough to have watched Princess Bubblegum become a fierce leader and a terrible… friend. Marceline had never really known what her and Bonnibel _were-_ back when they would still hang out and speak to one another. They were extremely close, at times they got so close. There was constant tension between them- every touch between them had become a game, every look a flirtation- a wonderful prelude to something exciting. And then PB just… stopped talking to her. Marceline had been so hurt, she didn't understand and never asked. For her things were simple, if Bonnibel had wanted to be with her, she would have. Instead, she was discarded, without a word.

Marceline had carried this hurt and confusion with her for so many years that it had become an indistinct prickle in her brain. She became conscious of it when she was reminded it was there. It had almost become part of her cell memory. The way that you aren't aware of your tongue in your mouth, until you are.

The events of the day had, however, turned that indistinct prickling into a confusion she could not ignore. Most painful of all, maybe, was that there was a new element in the confusion-and-feelings-matrix: hope. Why would PB have kept that shirt? She had so many precious things in that castle, all her subjects, her science things, _her crown_ , but the door lord had taken the _shirt._ She had seemed embarrassed, too. That was the only reason Marceline had not fled Ooo, actually. Bonnibel looked so vulnerable, perhaps Marceline wasn't the only one who felt exposed?

After infuriating herself with her own indecision, Marceline chose a course. "I'm going to go to her." Her self-doubt, for the moment, hardening into resolution. As she began heading towards her destination, she noticed that the lights in Bonnie's room had gone out sometime during the course her self-flagellating vacillation. This made her hesitate. But she had gone to PB's bedroom window in the dead of night so many times in the past, she decided it would be alright to go see if PB wanted to talk.

As Marceline flew, the cold air brushed her face, she could smell the sweetness of the Kingdom. As she approached the window of PB's bedroom, she paused and took a breath.

" _I shouldn't have to be the one to make up with you_."

She could still feel those words uncomfortably tingling in her throat from where they had burned her earlier, on their impulsive exit. And suddenly, she wasn't embarrassed anymore. She was angry. "What am I doing?" she whispered, disappointed in herself for coming here. "I was so honest today, she knows how I feel, she _must_ know." And yet, here Marceline was, at _her_ window. As she stood on the cusp on reconciliation, Marceline's anger gusted her backward, away from the precipice.

"No." she said quietly to herself. "I shouldn't have to be the one who makes up with you." She didn't sound or feel angry anymore, though- she was lost in an expansive sadness.

She turned away.

* * *

Princess Bubblegum was in her bedroom, sitting on the bed. She had been here since she had returned from the Door Lord's lair.

" _I'm just your problem_ …"

Marceline's beautiful, haunting words cascaded over her again and again, in waves that made her withdraw physically into herself, coiling in shame.

PB groaned and collapsed face first in her bed, into the piles of paper she spread out in front of her. They were charts, analyzing the day's events. For a genius scientist, however, PB was not succeeding in analyzing the data in front of her. The variable she had not accounted for, of course, was her own emotional perspective, self-loathing and doubt. PB didn't know that she had made Marceline feel so… unimportant, like a _nuisance_. In retrospect, however, she realized that there was no other way for Marceline to feel. Bonnibel was always involved with everything, organizing everyone. She was so in control of everything around her, except Marceline. She sort of, just... left Marceline alone. Bonnibel had always thought that this might make Marceline realize she was special, separate from the rest. This was incredibly flawed emotional reasoning, PB now realized. "I thought you knew you were special. I thought…" Bubblegum trailed off. It had always been possible for her to love someone deeply, to want to be with them but leave them alone, nonetheless. She had to be responsible. But she thought she knew. She thought Marceline knew.

" _It's like I'm not even a person.._."

PB pulled her knees up to her chest, becoming impossibly small and made an unearthly sound. Peppermint Butler stuck his head through the door, concerned about the unglobly sound he had just heard. "Everything okay in here?" he asked.

"Sure, Peps. Just some charts that aren't… adding up."

Peppermint Butler narrowed his eyes suspiciously. But he knew better than to try and get the Princess to talk about her feelings. He knew what this was about, though. He'd been around long enough to know. PB hadn't even gone to her lab today after she arrived home. And he knew she probably didn't make the connection, but the fact that she only ever "scienced" about Marceline in her bedroom displayed an obvious association of intimacy and desire for closeness.

"Peps, I think I have to go out. Don't wait up."

"Sure." He replied, hoping to glob the Princess would finally do something to make herself happier (since she had never let him try dark magic on her sadness).

Princess Bubblegum walked out of the castle. "Kaaaaaa" she yelled, both her arms in the air and a moment later her bird, The Morrow, swooped down and picked her up. The scene kept playing over in Bubblegum's head. Marceline's beautiful face, looking so pained and so, so lost. She had never told Marceline how beautiful she thought she was, she realized.

As they approached, the bird descended and PB made the rest of the way on foot. As she got to the entrance of Marceline's cave, she faltered. The lights of the house were off, post-apocalyptic moonlight silhouetting her pink frame in the entrance of the dark cave. "She doesn't want to talk to me." she thought. "Why would she want to talk to me?" PB on some level knew she was lying to herself. She knew Marceline wanted to talk to her, but that she was just too proud, too angry, probably. Bubblegum's self-sabotaging tendency started to swell, looking to claim another regret.

And it did. Bonnibel turned around, tears in her eyes- so angry with herself, but feeling so unable to choose a different course in this moment.

As Marceline arrived home, she paused under the stone entrance of the cave where Bubbelgum had stood only minutes prior. Her keen senses prickled. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, smelling the faintest trace of a familiar but unexpected perfume. "Bubblegum..." she whispered whistfully, without understanding.


	2. Objectively Feeling Something

**_Many, many years ago:_**

Bonnibel had been managing a new weapons project in her ever-growing Candy Kingdom all day as part of her threat-detection and prevention plan. The post-apocalyptic Ooo was a rough and unsafe place in these years- before the presence of the Candy Kingdom and other Princess' domains concretized order and rule (to some extent). It was finally night-time, and she usually spent the evenings working tirelessly in her lab to devise new solutions to potential problems to keep her home and her growing body of citizens safe. She was wearing her white lab coat, reading a data print-out. Or trying, at least.

She'd been having some difficulty concentrating lately which was extremely unusual for her. Frustrated, she shook her head, attempting to rattle away the thoughts that kept her reading the same line of 1's and 0's over and over again. She stopped trying to read for a moment. "Maybe if I just let myself think about it, about _her,_ I'll be able to get back to work."

She put down the paper she'd been holding, placed both her palms flat on the desk in front her and exhaled, closing her eyes. She felt the corners of her mouth pull upwards involuntarily as she was inundated with moments passed recently in Marceline's company- the lovely, literal daughter of Satan.

She could hear Marceline's attractive voice in her ears, and she felt the sensation of Marcy's arm accidentally brushing against hers (them both jumping away in shock). She was flooded with a mosaic of images- everything beautiful about her best friend. This incredibly kind, warmly compassionate, funny and deeply depressed young woman she had come to care for so intensely.

There was something profoundly romantic about Marceline, something effortlessly charming. As she slipped unintentionally deeper into her reverie, she began to think not only of moments passed, but moments she longed would come. A moment where her hands bunched softly in Marceline's hair, her face in her friend's neck and their bodies so close she could feel Marceline's chest expanding against her own. Or a moment where she brushed her lips across Marceline's cheek, stopping for a moment when the corners of their two mouths lightly touched, before...

Bonnie's breath caught in her throat and her cheeks burned. She unconsciously shifted her legs uncomfortably as she began to feel an unfamiliar heat spreading through her lower limbs until it reached somewhere deep inside of her. She had managed to convince herself (and still believed it, miraculously) that she only loved Marceline as a friend, and so when she began to feel this creeping, unwelcome heat, she groaned. Her one hand was clenched in a fist, still leaning on the table, her other was absent-mindedly tracing the skin of her neck, down to her collarbone, down to her breastbone. She sighed, frustrated. She had not expected her daydream to take this course, given her complete _objective_ lack of feelings for Marceline. A low voice spoke next to her ear, startling her.

"Surprise." Marceline said in a voice that dripped deep and dark like molasses.

Bonnibel screamed in surprise and spun around.

"Uh, Marcy, hey! Uh, yeah, hi. I, wasn't expecting you to be here… in the lab... with me, right now…" she finished weakly, trying to hide the guilt from her voice and face.

"Yeah, I broke in. You really need to work on your security." Marceline said casually with a grin, before noticing how utterly strange the expression on PB's face was. "Whoa, are you okay?" asked Marceline, concerned. "You look flustered." she remarked, her eyes filled with sincere inquiry.

"Yeah, no, I'm totally fine" Bonnibel lied, laughing nervously. "I was just trying to… visualize a," she paused, "a particularly frustrating problem."

Marceline knew she was no good at science, but she wanted an excuse to keep hanging around and asked, "Maybe it's something I can help you with?" Bonnibel looked awkward, biting her tongue. "No," she said slowly, "I, uh, I don't think it's something you can fix."

"Oh… well, I just wanted to say hello. I hope that's okay?" Marceline asked, suddenly self-conscious about being in Bonnibel's space, uninvited. Bonnie's eyes softened, "No, it's okay, Marcy."

"Well, maybe I should go, I don't want to keep you away from this visualisation problem you have." Marceline knew the Princess was busy and that her work, her only love, came first. The bitterness with which this thought came surprised her. _What is wrong with me._ She banished it as quickly as she allowed it.

Bonnie bit her lip- it was more like she had a problem with _not_ visualizing. Marceline turned to float out the way she came before Bonnie against her better judgment impulsively, but softly, reached for Marceline's hand. "No please, please stay with me a little?" she asked softly, knowing she had so much work to do, but not being able to bear the thought of Marceline going just yet, now that her warmth had filled the cold science of the room.

Marceline was taken aback by the feeling of PB's hand over hers and the weighty softness in her voice. She turned around and looked at her friend, to whom she had become so close over the past few years.

PB was leaning against the desk, her hair in a messy bun, wearing her completely oversized glasses. She looked _beautiful._ Her eyes, gleaming with intelligence, were fixed on Marceline. This made Marcy feel a heat glow up her neck and singe the back of her scalp. But she was unable to break eye-contact. She was hypnotised and drugged by this uncharacteristic softness from Bonnie.

"It's just, I'm a little tired, and I feel alone and I don't want you to leave yet." Bonnibel stammered in a small voice, trying to qualify her earlier plea. Marceline stopped floating and planted her feet on the floor, Bonnibel's honesty pulling her like gravity. She took a step toward the Princess. Not much distance between their bodies now.

"Of course I'll stay with you." She said softly, with a smile. Marceline noted that curiously, Bubblegum's lips were slightly parted and she looked flushed. Marceline moved even closer, unthinking, holding her breath in her throat in case it broke this strange, rich pause in the air between them. Seconds passed.

With a start she realized she had been looking at Bubblegum's lips the entire time, suddenly extremely self-conscious about their physical proximity to one another. She looked down, embarrassed- only to discover that she was still holding Bubblegum's.

PB seemed to realize at the exact moment she did and quickly pulled away from Marceline, impossibly far into the desk. "Right, yes. Good." she said, stiffly (a strange tone to take with your best friend of so many years). "Yes. Of course." said Marceline simultaneously, panicking and frantically shaking PB's hand like they had just closed a business deal. At this moment, Peppermint Butler walked through the door.

"Princess, there seems to be a problem with the…." He said, his words slowing as he processed the scene in front of him, "…banana guards." The vampire and the princess had been friends for years and suddenly they looked robotic around one another. "Oh Glob." He thought to himself.

* * *

A few days later, near midnight, Marceline was sitting on her couch, in the treehouse. She was absent-mindedly plucking at her bass. She could not stop thinking about Princess Bubblegum and their recent interaction. She felt her chest swell, remembering the softness in Bonnie's voice, how tenderly she had touched her.

"That was… interesting." She said to herself. If Marceline was being honest with herself she would be unable to recall the exact moment she had found herself falling in love with Bonnibel Bubblegum, but she would admit that she had. It seemed to have happened slowly and most certainly without her permission. She just knew that one day, Bonnibel arrived at her house and she was overwhelmed by how _adorable_ she was.

Bonnibel was fiercely intelligent, incredibly loyal and dedicated. Marceline loved the way she talked, the way she focused so completely on tasks and the energy she had for inventing. Bubblegum was a _creator._ With her stunning intellect, she could choose to create almost anything and yet, what she created was sweetness and protection for that sweetness. How could Marceline not fall in love with her? Bonnibel could be cold, calculating and extraordinarily unaware of herself and her own emotions, but these qualities made Marceline empathize with Bubblegum rather than judge her.

Marceline had never, even for a moment, entertained her feelings toward Bubblegum as a possibility. Bonnibel's love was her work and Marceline, tragically, felt quite unimportant in comparison.

If Marceline wasn't so convinced that PB didn't feel the same way about her, she might have considered the possibility that the _lab incident_ was significant. If Marceline wasn't so convinced she might have said no to a date with Ash, who was bound to arrive at any second. She had decided perhaps she needed a distraction.

Ash was relatively nice, it seemed. He was just some guy that she had met while flying around Ooo in the night, passing the time. They had planned to go to on a moonlight picnic (given Marceline's inability to be in the sun) somewhere in the grasslands. When Ash had suggested they explore the Candy Kingdom, Marceline had panicked, "No! I mean, no." Not that place. I uh, I'm not a big fan of candy." She lied. She didn't want Bubblegum to know about her date. She realized afterward that she wasn't sure why, it wasn't as if Bonnie would be particularly interested.

She met Ash outside on the grass that evening "Hey Marceline!" he said. "Hey Ash." She said. _At least try to be more enthusiastic, Marceline._ _No one forced you to do this._ Her and Ash meandered along, talking and joking. She had to congratulate herself, she could not have picked a better distraction from Bonnibel- Ash was _nothing_ like Bonnibel. He was messy and casual- nothing like the precision and seriousness of Bubblegum.

"So, Marceline, how's that new song coming?" Ash asked her, as they sat on the blanket.

"It's alright, really. I don't really know what's missing from it, but it's not finished yet." She replied.

"Oh, you know, maybe you need a muse." Remarked Ash with a grin.

"Oh, really? You think that will help? And who would you suggest?" Marceline asked, playing along. Ash raised his eyebrows and said with a surprising amount of charm, "Why don't you sing about me?" Marceline laughed. She had actually begun to enjoy herself in Ash's company. It was light and easy. Ash gave her a warm smile and slid his arm around her waist. Marceline tensed up immediately, she wasn't expecting such sudden physical contact from him. He raised his eyebrows. _Just relax Marceline, just see where this goes._ She smiled, a little stiffly, but he didn't seem to notice and she tried to relax into his touch. She took a breath, and realized she was okay. It was nice, even, to be touched by someone.

As they walked home, Marceline knew what was coming. _The kiss._ She had been bracing herself for the moment since Ash had initiated physical contact with her earlier. They stopped in front her door, and as expected Ash said in a warm tone "I had a really lovely time tonight, Marceline."

"I had a nice time, too." replied Marceline, still uncertain as to whether she would let herself be pulled into this.

Ash took a step closer to her and waited for her to close the distance. Suddenly, everything about the way Ash moved, being so different from Bubblegum began to have the opposite effect of a distraction. Him, his movements, the way he breathed so close to her face, his arm leaning on the wall behind her, they had all become some sort dark to PB's light- the negative image to the positive image. He, in that moment, became nothing more than a juxtaposing-element. _This isn't how Bubblegum would do it._ He was sweet, but he was wrong. This realization made Marceline incredibly sad and frustrated. Oh, _what the hell_ , she thought hopelessly and desperately as she brought her lips up against his. He misread the emotion in the kiss as some sort of sentiment directed towards him. "Wow." He gasped. "I haven't been kissed like that in ages." Marceline smiled weakly, feeling slightly guilty. _It wasn't for you._

* * *

The next evening, Marceline was at home when she heard a knock at the door. For a second she panicked, fearing it was Ash. She felt strange about the precious evening and wasn't sure what she was going to do. However, she heard a very welcome voice through the door, "Hi! Marcy! You in there?"

"Yeah, just a sec!" Marceline called out, catching herself almost sprinting to the door in excitement.

She flung open the door and there stood Bonnie, pretty and pink in the moonlight. The events of the previous evening had been so sad and confusing that she couldn't help throw her arms around her friend and hold her very closely. Bubblegum seemed to be a bit caught off guard, arms stiff at her sides. Just as Marceline was about to let go, however, PB wrapped her arms tightly around her best friend, burying her face in her neck. They came apart but remained standing close.

"You missed me, huh?" Bonnie teased.

Marceline blushed, "No, I just-"

"I missed you." Bubblegum cut her off, shyly.

Marceline beamed, trying to ignore the dull ache in her stomach that told her _not in the same way, idiot._

"So, what have you been up to?" PB asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing much!" Marceline lied, badly.

The Princess narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing!" Repeated Marceline, not wanting to tell the Princess about her date with Ash for a reason she didn't quite understand.

"Marceline. I can tell when you're lying. What's happening?"

"Nothing." Marceline repeated for the third time. "I just saw a friend last night, but other than that nothing much." This bit of (almost) honest information seemed to satisfy PB.

"Oh! Why were you acting so weird about that? Anyway, I was wondering whether you wanted to walk home with me, I was just in the neighbourhood collecting samples and thought maybe we could hang out the castle for the evening?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Marceline, almost no even letting PB finish forming the question. "What I mean is, I would love to hang out with you." She said in a gentle tone. She knew she was pushing it, that PB didn't feel the same, but she couldn't help but initiate physical contact with her again. She pushed Bonnie's hair behind her ear and said, "I did actually miss you, by the way." Marceline was beginning to feel guilty about how much she enjoyed these moments, it was becoming inappropriate and it was making Marceline feel like a creep. She shouldn't be indulging this attraction for her friend in this way.

They were still standing very close to one another and PB put her hand on Marceline's shoulder. "Marcy, I'm glad you weren't busy because I've been looking forward to seeing you all day." she said softly, as she moved her hand to Marceline's neck. Their eyes met and Marceline felt a deep blush start in her chest.

There was a knock at Marceline's door, making them both jump. PB grasped her two hands nervously in front of her, a gesture that made Marceline want to cry, she loved it so much.

"Hey babe!" called Ash, as he poked his head around the corner "Whoa, am I interrupting something here? He asked, as he saw the two women standing awkwardly next to one another. He looked at Bonnibel.

"Uh- no!" said Marceline, nervous all of a sudden. PB gave her a questioning look, but Marceline was avoiding eye-contact.

'Well that's good, because I was hoping we could do a repeat of last night?" Ash asked with a flirtatious smirk. He walked forward and stood next to Marceline, pointedly putting his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. Marceline turned blood red, feeling extremely uncomfortable. "Well," asked Ash, "aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Oh! Sure, Ash, this is Princess Bubblegum and PB this is Ash, my… friend." Ash looked at Marceline quizzically. Marceline looked at Bonnibel. Bonnibel looked at Ash, her eyes were piercing daggers into him. The hostility in the room was pulpable.

Ash held out his hand, with a smug, seemingly picking up on something that Marceline had missed. Bonnie didn't take it- the expression on her face made it seem as if she hoped snakes to drag him into a pit where there were even more snakes.

Marceline made to break the glacial silence. "Actually, Ash" she said while taking a step away from him, "I was going to go hang out at Bonnie's tonight."

"That's okay." Said PB, clearly in a foul mood.

"What? What do you mean?" asked Marceline, truly confused.

"I mean have fun doing a repeat of last night." She grimaced.

Marceline didn't understand. There was no reason for Bonnie to react this way to Ash, it didn't make any sense. Before Marceline could get another word out, the Princess was already a few metres away, walking fast. Marceline looked at Ash, he smiled at her. He looked smug.

* * *

Back at the castle Princess Bubblegum was pacing agitatedly across her bedroom. She was fuming, muttering wild, deranged observations to herself, only one in every few words audible. _Mumble mumble_ "Ash." _mumble mumble_ "Think he is!" _mumble mumble_ "Snakes…"

The sight of that smug little insect touching Marceline like that created an anger in her capable of inspiring her to engineer his destruction. _Mumble mumble "_ Don't trust him."

Peppermint Butler walked into the room and cautiously approached her, having been hearing her wild muttering and sporadic exclamation for over an hour now. It was distracting him from the evocation spell he was attempting.

"So uh," he started gently, unsure of how to frame this whole bizarre scenario, "crazy night, huh?" He had hardly finished his sentence when the Princess exclaimed.

"A boy Peps! There was a boy! This disgusting wizard insect boy." _Mumble mumble_ "SNAKES."

Peppermint Butler exhaled slowly. He may not be a scientist, but he knew the realm of emotion. Emotion was like magic- it was created from nothing but its own pure form and it was powerful beyond measure. Both catalyst and inhibitor- inexplicable.

"What about this boy?" he asked.

"He was touching Marceline, Peps! His disgusting little tendrils. It's almost as if they… as if they…" she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"As if they what? Were romantic with one another?"

"Ugh! NO! Why would that bother me? It's not that. It's just his face, it's so …" she fell back into her frantic mumbling. "The way he was looking at me! So proud of himself, touching her like that!"

"Well, maybe he knows something you don't." Peppermint Butler said slowly and cautiously. The Princess rounded on him, looking very, very angry.

"And what's _that_? What could a little garbage puff like him possibly know that I don't?" she almost shouted, her chest heaving from the effort of not completely losing her temper.

"How you feel." said Peppermint Butler, fully expecting to be banished from the room immediately. Instead, Bubblegum just stood rooted to the spot, her face looked horrified. She sunk down into the bed, her head in her hands.

She looked up at him though her fingers. "How I feel?" she asked, not really needing an answer.

"Yes. How you feel."

"And how would he possibly know that?" she asked, adding quickly, "Not that there is anything to know, that is."

"Of course, but if there _were_ anything to know," Peppermint Butler continued carefully, "perhaps those around you would notice."

The thought horrified PB. She wasn't even ready to admit it to herself. And she _hated_ that Ash could tell.

"Do you, hypothetically, know? You know, if there were something to hypothetically know?" Bonnibel asked Peppermint Butler, quietly.

Peppermint Butler looked at PB with empathy and understanding. She had never been too connected to her feelings, supressing everything out to focus on protecting those around her. She grew up largely alone, and wasn't very receptive to the emotions of others or her own. Before Princess Bubblegum, none of this safety existed. She worked so hard to carve out a small piece of sweetness in this hellish world and that didn't leave much room for feeling. To see his leader, and friend, looking so vulnerable and confused was a new challenge to him.

"I would say that I know you pretty well. And… yes." He finished, resigned.

Princess Bubblegum didn't need Peps to tell her how she felt. She had been stumbling around this realization for a while now.

"What am I going to do?" she asked Peppermint Butler despondently.

"Princess, this isn't a disaster." He replied, comfortingly.

 _Yes it is,_ she thought, as her eyes filled up with tears.


	3. A Moment Remembered

**Hello! I am so sorry for the delay with a new chapter, but I have been writing my final law school exams and preparing to move cities. But here we are! Thank you all for the reviews and feedback, please feel free to keep it coming, I really appreciate it. (I haven't slept properly in days, I hope there aren't too many errors!)**

 **So, we skip some time here and the events pick up at the end of Stakes. Also, I use some lyrics from _Love Like You_ from Steven Universe because it is v beautiful and I relate to it more than I should. And I also just really wanted to work it into the story somehow, I think it really captures something about PB and Marceline's dynamic.**

* * *

A few years had passed since the incident with the Door Lord. While the incident had failed to spark reconciliation between Bonnibel and Marceline, it had created a dull awareness (for they both tried to suppress it) in both of them that perhaps the other still cared. This had enabled them, slowly, to begin spending more time in one another's presence without someone bursting into tears or someone getting frustrated and shouting but no one really saying how they feel. Marceline's song hadn't been enough to overcome the forces that kept them apart- but it had been like a small, warm breeze. The kind of gentle wind that carried with it nostalgia and an inexplicable perspective- a desire to look beyond oneself and to be honest and open. This small breeze was merely a suggestion- not a catalyst. This reaction was not fast- it was a slow, thoughtful burn. A gradual realization that perhaps, Marceline and Bonnibel could attempt to breach this impasse that had grown so vast between them. This culminated in a mutual, unspoken and quiet patience with one another. Proof of this had come the day Marceline came to Bonnibel to ask her to cure her Vampirism. That one request had stimulated the unfolding of a rapid sequence of events that culminated in the Vampire King and his fearsome companions returning to unlife.

And now, at what felt like was the end of this terrifying, traumatic sequence, Princess Bubblegum sat on the edge of a bed, her eyes welled with tears, as she became overwhelmed by emotion. She looked down at the unconscious woman before her, and put her palm against Marceline's cheek. Marceline had just defeated the Vampire King, but had, once again, paid the price of her mortality to do so.

Bonnibel had tried for so long to be strong. To be a strong and reliable leader- never to show any weakness that could make her appear vulnerable to the benefit of her enemies or to the panic of her people. And yet, she had failed. She had temporarily lost her Kingdom (she was, however, about to usurp crunchie) which had shaken her deeply, for obvious reasons. One reason that was not obvious to those around her, however, was that she realized that she had given up Marceline, she had _lost_ , _deserted_ Marceline to be this steely leader who had failed anyway. And so, what did she even give Marceline up _for_? This had been far too an upsetting thought for her to handle. She had almost erupted with emotion the night that Marceline had showed up at the cabin a few weeks ago and helped her hunt Varmints. _After all this time, you're the one to come to me when I need you._

The room was dimly-lit, a warm evening breeze coming through the curtains, their lazy swish a reminder that a whole world existed outside of this moment, still. Finn and Jake had left the cabin to go and check up on BMO at the treehouse. Bonnibel had, of course, remained by Marceline's side. She had wondered, as they had left Marceline's cave, whether Finn and Jake knew how she felt. The sound of Marceline's steady breath was like the most beautifully composed piece of music Bonnibel had ever heard. A rhythm for which she was truly grateful. Bonnibel's hands had been shaking for hours, ever since Marceline had collapsed, undead, from the Vampire King's bite. It was into these shaking hands that she took one of Marceline's perfectly still ones.

"You're better than me," whispered Bonnie as she looked down at Marceline's pale face. "You're better than me and that's why I couldn't be there for you. Because I'm bad and you're…" Bonnibel began to cry, tears running down her cheeks, "You're so good, Marceline. You're so gentle and genuine. How could I let you rely on me?" Bonnibel asked in a tone that was both self-scolding and full of doubt. She was very emotional. Her fingers stroked Marceline's hair and she pressed her wet cheek to Marceline's own. Princess Bubblegum couldn't even be there for Marceline when she had needed her most, and yet, here was Marceline, sacrificing her mortality to save Ooo, to save Bonnibel's kingdom.

Bonnibel had always carried a deep fear inside of her, and since Marceline couldn't hear her, she opened her lips next to Marceline's ear, voice in a thick whisper of emotion, "I always though I might be bad," she inhaled deeply, trying to force herself to get this thing out of her, "now I'm sure that it's true. Because I think you're so good, and I'm nothing like you." She finished in the smallest voice.

Bonnibel exhaled heavily and let the words get lost in Marceline's hair, wet with her tears. That was partly why Bonnibel had stopped talking to Marceline all those years ago. Marceline, daughter of the night, was so good, so shockingly wonderful. And Bonnibel, well, Bonnibel was cold and calculating- and she knew it. Sometimes she wondered if there was something wrong with her. It was as if Marceline's light shone a brightness onto Bonnibel's darkness. This made Bonnibel feel exposed and vulnerable beyond articulation. And so, she had turned away from her best friend, from the person she loved most in the world.

She remembered that night well, although she only ever thought of it in the dead of night- when she woke confused and startled and her defences were lowered. Only then did the memories of this specific night find their way into her conscious thought, breaking painfully through a very carefully constructed dam wall and flooding her with regret and a sense of loss the depths of which she had not allowed herself to explore, even now.

Bonnibel, already emotional, heard the terrifying crack of the dam wall in her head- intrusive and threatening. And all at once, she remembered that evening, as she lay with her shaking body on Marceline's breathing chest…

* * *

It past midnight and the night air was heavy with a dead, thick silence. Bonnibel had been fast asleep when suddenly she had become aware of someone's presence in her bedroom. She awoke, groggy and disoriented. Through heavy, lidded eyes, she saw Marceline's face, close to her own. "I'm sorry to wake you Peebs," Marceline whispered.

Bonnibel was taken aback. She was surprised not only because she had been asleep a moment ago, but because she didn't think she would hear from Marceline for a while. Bonnibel's behaviour since she had realized she was in love with her best friend had been shocking and contradictory. She had been frighteningly rude to Ash and she had put her best friend in a very awkward situation. Even worse, one second she couldn't help but draw Marceline near to her as consequence of her love, and the next distance herself from her for the same reason. Bonnibel was in pain. She was confused and she had not been dealing with it very well.

"Hey Marcy," Bonnie whispered sleepily. Her eyes focused and she could see, even in this dark, that something was wrong. "Is everything okay?" she asked Marceline, sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to face Marceline, suddenly very concerned.

Marceline could hardly hold back the tears. "No," she said, her voice thick with despair, "He found me again, Peebs." she said softly. "Simo-" she paused, saying his name was at times too painful, too bitter, "Ice King found me. He's back."

"Oh no…" whispered Bonnie, her hand over her mouth. She took Marceline's hands and held them tightly in her own. "What happened?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk about it, really. The same thing that always happens. The same thing that's been happening for hundreds of years. He doesn't remember me, but he keeps seeking me out. He knows my name, but he doesn't know who I am. I'm sorry, this has happened so many times, and I just can't help but get upset every time."

"Marceline," Bonnibel said, the name came out her mouth dripping with affection and concern, intimate. "What are you even apologizing for? He was like your dad. I've never had a dad, but I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you."

"I know, it's just," she paused, "It's late."

Bonnibel smiled. If only Marceline knew how badly and often she wished that Marceline would appear in her bedroom late at night. "You know it's okay, I want you here. I like having you here, with me. Please stop apologizing." Bonnibel's words were so tender they took Marceline by surprise. Bonnibel noticed the surprise on Marceline's face and felt instantly guilty.

Marceline was kneeling on the floor in front of Bonnibel. She felt emotional and weak, and Bonnibel was the most comforting thing to her. In her state, she let herself initiate physical contact with Bonnie. She shifted so that she was still kneeling on the floor, but was now squarely between Bonnibel's legs. She rested her face in Bonnie's lap and wrapped her arms around her waist. She could feel Bonnie's warm skin under the thin shirt she had been sleeping in. Her face burned, and she could not bear to look at her best friend. "I just… I just need you so badly right now." Marceline said into PB's lap, her voice muffled.

Bonnibel sensed the atmosphere in the room change. She was slightly confused. Marceline's breath had become heavy. Marceline's heavy, warm breathing in her lap caused a searing heat to rise through the whole of Bonnibel's pink body. She couldn't help herself, seeing Marceline like this just made her want to reach out to her- to let her know how much she was loved. She put both her hands on either side of Marceline's face. "Marceline, look at me."

"No." said Marceline, sounding slightly embarrassed.

"Marceline," said Bonnibel, "Please." Marceline's name had sounded like a double-sigh in Bonnibel's mouth. One breath in and one breath out- a full cycle of blood to the brain. Marceline looked up, surprised at the pleading tone.

Their eyes met. Everything was quiet.

Bonnibel's hands ran from Marceline's jawline, softly down her neck and rested on her shoulders. They were breathing in time- the air from their respective pairs of lungs rushing out to meet with each other and mix in an intimate, hot mess between them.

"Get into the bed with me," Bonnibel whispered. "I'll hold you until you feel better." She shifted back into the bed and motioned for Marceline to join her. Marceline lay down, a little spoon. They lay like this for a while, just breathing. Bonnibel shifted closer to Marceline, smelling the sweet perfume of her hair, and wound her arm around Marceline's waist. _This felt so good._ Bonnibel almost let herself get lost in this moment before she started to feel guilty. Her friend was coming to her for comfort, and she had this inappropriate throb in her lap where Marceline's face had lay minutes before. She tensed up and shifted away from Marceline.

Marceline seemed to sense that something had changed in Bonnie and worked up the courage to turn around and face her. Her breath was almost knocked out of her as she looked at Bonnie- she was so beautiful. _Why._

Their eyes met once more- the moment drugging them both. Marceline put her hand on Bonnibel's cheek. "Bonnie, I…" she started, but couldn't finish.

Bonnibel put her own hand to Marceline's cheek. "Marceline, I…" she couldn't finish either.

Bonnibel could feel the blood rush to her lips, her cheeks were throbbing. Marceline was so close and she smelled _so good._ She unconsciously licked her lips and looked at Marceline's. Marceline shifted closer to her. "Bonnibel, I… I _need_ you, Is that okay?"

Bonnibel could hardly find the breath to say, "Of course that's okay!"

"No, I mean, I don't think you understand." Marceline said, shifting even closer. Their bodies were almost touching.

"I… Maybe you're the one that doesn't understand." PB said, hypnotized by Marceline's persistent proximity to her. She became overwhelmed by this torturous moment between them and closed the space between their bodies, holding Marceline tightly against her. She let out a small gasp at the sensation of the length of their bodies meeting. Marceline's chest was heaving against her own. Marceline relaxed slightly out of the embrace and rubbed her cheek against Bonnie's, tracing her lips across her skin. Bonnie held her breath. Marceline brought her lips to the corner of Bonnibel's mouth and whispered in a voice thick with desire, "Is this okay?" Bonnie turned her face slightly, so their lips made contact at their corners. "Yes," she breathed, burning everywhere, "I want this." Marceline closed the distance between them and Bonnibel's hands, on Marceline's chest, bunched in her shirt. Their bodies shuddered violently at the contact.

* * *

Bonnibel sobbed on Marceline's chest- she had messed everything up so badly. All her fears about herself were confirmed in the days that had followed that moment. That had been the first and only time that Marceline and Bonnibel had kissed and it had lasted all night. They had pushed against and pulled on each other, skin on skin until the morning had come and both weak with exertion, had fallen asleep together.

Bonnibel had apologized to Marceline in the Candy Mines, but it did not even begin to recompense for what she had done. After that night together, Bonnibel became distance, stopped talking to Marceline. She knew the severe hurt this caused her, but she did it anyway. Bonnibel couldn't be there for Marceline, she wasn't good like Marceline. She had so many things to worry about. Marceline deserved someone who worried about her all the time- not someone who often forgot other people even existed she was so lost in her work. Bonnibel was selfish and cold and hard. And she couldn't allow herself to let someone as good as Marceline come to rely on her.

And yet, after so many years of telling herself that she could not be with Marceline, here she was, face on Marceline's chest, in Marceline's bedroom. Perhaps Marceline's bedroom was not cursed like Bonnibel's bedroom had seemed to be. As Marceline's muscles stiffened, and her eyelids began to flutter open, Bonnie hoped more than anything that she could find the courage, the _audacity_ to ask Marceline for her forgiveness.


	4. Who Was Searching

Marceline was vaguely conscious of pressure on her hand as she regained consciousness. Her eyes opened and slowly the blur of pink in front of her crystalized into Bonnie's worried face. "Hey P-Brains," Marceline managed, softly.

It must have been early morning, the confusing time where it was neither night nor day- the pleasant purgatory before sunrise. The air that came through the curtains was crisp and quiet.

"Hi Marcy," Bonnibel whispered in a small voice, squeezing Marceline's hand, of which she had not let go during the night. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm okay," replied Marceline weakly, "just tired."

"I was so worried about you. For a second we all thought…" Bonnibel trailed off, realizing that Marceline probably was too tired to have this conversation. "I'm just glad you're okay." She finished, with a small, teary smile.

Marceline smiled at Bonnibel. She noticed that Bonnibel's eyes were puffy and that her nose was red and sniffling. Had she been crying? Bonnibel was wearing her white jersey with the red, blue and yellow stripes. Her hair was up. She looked tired, but lovely.

"I hope you didn't stay up all night," said Marceline in her weak voice.

"No, I didn't," lied Bonnibel, "I got some rest." The last thing she wanted was for Marceline to be worrying about _her_ right now. Bonnibel smiled and brought Marceline's hand to her cheek. "It's so good to talk to you, to hear your voice. I would have missed you forever." Bonnibel almost clapped her hand over her mouth and looked surprised at the words that had just fallen out of her mouth. They were heavy and dropped onto the bed- like a gift? Or a confession? Or a burden?

Marceline was slightly taken aback, too. She couldn't think of anything to say; her mind was so foggy. So, she just let those heavy words lie on the bed with her, keeping her company in the moment of silence that ensued. She squeezed Bonnibel's hand, and she noticed the deep blush on her face.

Marceline felt herself drifting off to sleep again, but the sound of footsteps on the stairs pulled her momentarily back to consciousness.

"Marcy!" exclaimed Finn excitedly.

Marceline smiled. Finn's eyes were shining, and he looked so pure and so happy. This boy was so beautiful. Marceline was happy and comforted to see her friend in the room.

"Hello, Finn," she smiled.

"I'm so happy you're okay!" he exclaimed. He brought a light energy into the room. "Jake and I bought you some lipstick and apples, so you'll have plenty to eat." He said brightly. "How are you, you know, feeling about being a vampire again?" he asked sensitively. He noticed the way Bonnibel was holding Marceline's hand and the tenderness with which she looked at her. He smiled to himself. Now that he was older, he had noticed that there was something unspoken between Marceline and PB. He hoped they would sort out whatever it was that had clearly been going on between them for much longer than he was alive.

"I think I'm okay with it," Marceline replied.

To be honest, she wasn't really sure how she felt about her regained vampirism, yet. But she felt overwhelmed with love for her friends. "I think I just need to rest some more, and think a little."

"Okay, Marcy," said Bonnibel. "We'll leave you to rest a little."

Marceline didn't want Bonnibel to go, but she bit her lip. She felt awkward asking Bonnibel to stay, but Finn to leave. And maybe being alone was actually important right now, she thought.

Her eyes met with Bonnibel's and they shared a look. "I'll see you later?" asked Marceline.

"Of course." Assured Bonnibel.

And somehow, Marceline had the sense that this time, Bonnibel wasn't going to disappear. She fell into a deep sleep, and, embarrassingly, dreamt of Bonnie stroking her hair.


	5. A Moment Stolen

Marceline opened her eyes. It was night time again, and it was warm in her bedroom. She must have slept all day. Just as well, since she was a vampire, again. She heard faint noises coming from downstairs. As she sat up, she felt that she had her strength back. She stretched out, her immortal limbs, almost invincible. She got up, and went to the bathroom to take a shower. She let the water run over her body, and it felt cleansing and wonderful. Even if she was undead again, she could still smell good. She thought about her friends, and felt filled with a brief happiness. She thought of Bonnibel. _I would miss you forever._ How strange, to hear Bonnibel say something so romantic. Marceline was accustomed to being the romantic one. She was the one caught in daydreams of growing old with Bonnibel, the one who wrote and sang love songs about her (that she would definitely never hear). Bonnibel was focused and never much indulged in sentimentality, as far as Marceline knew. (Of course, Marceline still did not know what had given Maja the Sky Witch such power with which to attack the Candy Kingdom).

She got out the shower, the room warm and steamed up. She put on some clothes and went downstairs. She found Finn and Jake messing around downstairs. She wasn't surprised to see them, she had figured someone would be around to keep an eye on her. She was, however, slightly disappointed that Bonnibel seemed to have headed back to the Castle.

"Oh, hey Marcy!" exclaimed Jake and came to give her a hug.

"Hello Jake. So, are you scared of me again?" she teased. Jake scowled and Finn laughed.

"Marcy, how are you feeling?" asked Finn.

"I feel good," replied Marceline with a smile. "Thanks for sticking around."

"It's a pleasure," said Finn with a bright smile. "So, if you're feeling better, do you think you're up for a night-time walk with us?"

Marceline looked suspicious. "To where?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, nowhere in particular, you know."

As they made their way across the plains and through the forests of Ooo, Marceline was surprised, and slightly disappointed, to find that they were not headed towards the Candy Kingdom. She had hoped that perhaps they were on their way to see Bonnibel. The air was warm and Marceline could smell the sweetness of the Candy Kingdom in on the breeze. She inhaled deeply.

They had chattered at the start of the walk, but now all three companions had fallen comfortably silent. Approaching in the distance, Marceline could see the lights of Bonnie's cabin on Butterscotch Lake. She could hear faint music. She felt her heart skip a beat. Would she be able to see Bonnibel, after all? She felt silly. After all these years, she still got excited whenever she saw Bonnibel. She still got that rush of adrenaline, and her breath still quickened.

As they approached the cabin, Bonnibel came into view, standing on the porch. There were candles on the grass, porch and even in the windows of the cabin. It was a gorgeous, ethereal scene. Bonnibel looked beautiful, her pastel pink skin glowing warmly in the candlelight. She looked nervous.

Bonnibel looked so entrancing that a few seconds passed before Marceline noticed that there were others here, too. All her friends: Simon, Lumpy Space Princess, Death, Peppermint Butler and a few others. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Hey Marcy," welcomed Bonnibel tenderly, "I thought we could throw you a little party to say welcome back and thank you for saving Ooo."

Marceline smiled. Bonnibel reached for her hand, with a strange look on her face. However, before she could make contact, Lumpy Space Princess intercepted her touch and she ended up awkwardly holding a hand out to LSP's back. "Oh my Glob girl!" LSP shrieked at Marceline, completely unware that she was interrupting something. "Let's party!"

The party was wonderful. Everyone danced and Marceline spoke to all her friends. Lumpy Space Princess made a scene and tried to get Finn to kiss her. However, there hadn't been much time or opportunity to speak to Bonnibel. Marceline would steal glances at her from time to time. Almost half the time, she caught Bonnibel looking at her too. They both looked away quickly, their stomachs jumping in unison. She felt magnetized to Bonnibel. Although, that was nothing new.

It was getting late, but the party was still bustling. Everyone spoke and laughed and seemed to be happy to be exactly where they were. Marceline was talking to Death when she felt a hand on her shoulder- it was Bonnibel.


	6. What Was Found

Marceline looked beautiful as she spoke to Death. Her pale skin shone in the moonlight. Bonnibel had been staring at her all night, and had got caught a few times. It was so obvious that Jake had given her a pep-talk (it's all about the "pumps and bumps", apparently). As she approached she caught the faint scent of Marceline's perfume and hair, something very large filled her chest.

"Sorry to interrupt" she interjected, "But Marceline, would you come with me for a moment?"

Marceline nodded. Bonnibel motioned for her to follow. Bonnibel was so nervous, she could not even muster the courage to take Marceline's hand. So, they just walked next to each other, electricity bristling between them.

Bonnibel led Marceline to a clump of trees, where they stopped. It was not too far from the party, but sheltered from view. The moon was visible through the trees, there was a breeze, the gentle sound of rustling leaves and the thump of Bonnibel's heart in her ears. She turned to face Marceline, who looked at her questioningly.

"Marceline, I, uh, I have some things I'd like to say to you, if that's okay?" she felt like she was going to throw up.

Marceline had begun sweating and her face had grown hot. _What is happening_. "Of course," she said, confused.

"I wanted to apologize to you," Bonnibel began.

"Bonnie, please, you don't have to- "

"No, please just let me finish," pleaded Bonnibel quietly, her courage fading fast. Marceline remained quiet.

"I let you down, all those years ago. I was scared, and I found it difficult to be vulnerable. I didn't know how to deal with all my responsibilities and with growing up. I left you when you needed me, I know that. I know I hurt you very deeply, I know what I did was very wrong. I abandoned you like you were abandoned when your mom died, when Simon left and every time Hunson marches in and out of your world. I am so sorry that I continued that pattern in your life."

Marceline's eyes brimmed with tears. To have her hurt acknowledged like this by Bonnibel was hard, but it also felt like this massive weight was being lifted from her. Bonnibel was giving her the power the choose. By asking for forgiveness, Bonnibel was giving Marceline the power to make a choice- an agency she had so cruelly denied Marceline when she disappeared unilaterally from her life.

Bonnibel continued, "I want to know if you could possibly ever forgive me for the hurt I have caused you. I am truly, deeply sorry."

There was a pause. Marceline inhaled to reply, but Bonnibel found the courage to carry on.

"And Marceline," she said softly, looking down, "one more thing," she continued as her voice broke somewhat, "I have always loved you," she confessed in what was barely a whisper, "I have always been in love with you. I think about you constantly, I get jealous and I miss you. I have missed you for so long. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, we can just be friends. It's just, I was so close to losing you forever and if I did not tell you now, perhaps I would never tell you."

The words fell out of her in an unplanned rush and landed at Marceline's feet, like an offering. Bonnibel's face and throat burned, her mouth was dry and she couldn't bear to look Marceline in the eyes. She was embarrassed. She had planned what she would say, but the words came out clumsy and insecure. It was hardly a bold declaration of love. Rather, it was a muddled, gentle submission.

Marceline was rooted to the spot. The shock from Bonnibel's confession had sucked her tears right back in from whence they came. It was as if she burned so hot in that moment, all the water evaporated from her body.

She opened her mouth.

She closed her mouth.

Seconds passed.

Marceline had always had her dull hopes, of course. It would be foolish to suggest that she never thought there could be a chance Bonnie felt _something_ for her. But she had never, ever thought that she would hear these words coming from her mouth.

"I, uh, I…" Marceline stuttered, completely inept and ill-prepared for this moment. She had no romantic or funny quip to diffuse the tension. All she had were syllables.

"It's okay," said Bonnibel, eyes still on the floor. "I know you don't feel the same. If you could find a way to forgive me, please let me know." She looked up to steal one last glance at Marceline, for what she thought would probably be a very long time, given this conversation. Marceline's face was flushed and her mouth was open in shock, she seemed to be struggling. ' _She's so beautiful'_ Bonnibel thought to herself, and knew that tragically, she would never forget how devastatingly lovely Marceline looked in this moment in the moonlight between the trees. She began to turn away.

"No wait!" Marceline managed to croak at last. "Wait," she said, breathlessly. Bonnie stopped and turned around, heart thumping. Marceline took a few more seconds to herself, and inhaled.

"You did hurt me. You never explained, and you left me. You weren't even my friend anymore. I've been so lonely for so many years. But I can forgive you. Despite what you did, I know who you are, and I like who that person is." Marceline took another deep breath.

"And Bonnie," She took a step toward Bonnibel and looked her straight in the eyes, "I love you too."

She had hardly gotten the words out before Bonnibel, with tears in her eyes, clasped Marceline's face in her hands and kissed her.

It was cautious at first, self-conscious. However, after a few seconds Bonnibel found herself against a nearby tree, her hands bunched in Marceline's shirt, just as they were so many years ago. The kiss became deeper and deeper until both were gasping for air as their mouths opened and closed in-time, heart-rates elevated and hands shaking uncontrollably. Marceline pressed her body against Bonnibel's and Bonnibel's breath rasped in her throat. She bit the skin on Marceline's shoulder, which had become exposed from the desperate pulling of clothing.

A little while later, cheeks flushed, Bonnibel and Marceline walked back to the party, holding hands. Everyone was still there, unsurprisingly: the inhabitants of Ooo loved a good party. As they approached, everyone saw them- blushing and clutching onto one another. There was a moment of silence before Finn exclaimed, "Oh my crease! Finally!"

Everyone laughed.

Marceline looked at Bonnibel and smiled, "Now I guess we get to hang out together forever."


End file.
